i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
