You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize