Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
