Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
