omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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