We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
