I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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