I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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