You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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