You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
