He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
