Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize