love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
