After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
