i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
