I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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