I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
