Operation Purity has been aborted
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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