i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
