He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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