I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
