Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
