Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
