just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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