The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
