Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
