Me too!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
