I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
