it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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