he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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