he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
