i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
