Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
