i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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