I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
