its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
