This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
