we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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