When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize