I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Do vagina's smell?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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