At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
