She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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