And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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