Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
