people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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