That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
