I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
