I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I will be naked everywhere
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
