he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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