Its about making memories worth repressing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
