I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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