Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
