Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just pynch a tree in the face
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
