You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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