we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
