maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
