Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
