i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
