You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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