Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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