Barsexuality is the new black.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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