Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
