"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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