Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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