matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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