Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We had to coat check the pizza.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
