Where are you?
In a non slutty way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we're making bets on your personal life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
