WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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