I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize