no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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